Cosmic Race

Thoughts from Guatemala (2016) 

As I was preparing for bed last night, I was going through my night routine. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and crawled into bed. As I did this, I let my mind wander and it led me into an interesting place. While at times my endless stream of thoughts gets me into trouble, I often uncover various truths in my perception of this world, which makes the rumination worthwhile. It was during this time I had another one of my “moments of clarity.” Though this term sounds cliché, I frequently find several strands of my life combining into one crucial period of which everything seems to make sense. In the midst of complication, I receive a consciousness of peace as though everything occurring is part of a greater course. It’s an existential sensation of reassurance. Suddenly I know I am interpreting the signs correctly and I am headed down the right path. I believe we all experience worries about our destiny. Great or small, each one of us wants to leave our own legacy on this world, and at times we forget to notice the fruits of our efforts and the progress we’ve made.

Lately, I have given so much thought to my daily position in our world. In the past I have mostly wondered about my future. I ponder who I’ll become, what career I’ll have, and if I’ll get married or have a family. The abyss of the looming unknown draws me into a hypothetical world where my contemplations continue to grow. However, yesterday my mind was irrevocably focused on the present.

The thoughts began with the idea of a “cosmic race.” I am currently taking a class focusing on the history of Latin America through the nationalist period, and this term is something that has stuck with me for the last week. José Vasconcelos, a radical nationalist in Mexico in the early 1900’s, believed that eventually Mexico would give birth to a race to end all races. He hoped that Mexico would find its identity in this race of which everyone was truly equal due to the incredible amount of racial mixing. This racial mixing would give these people moral superiority and empathy to all. Their unity would come from their complex differences, which would cease to matter in the future. The indigenous, the black, and the white would all be equal, and none would be glorified. While this idea in essence sounds incredible, of which I’m sure people would have minimal complaints if it were ever to come to fruition, it made me think about another project I’ve been working on….

In just two months, I’ll be traveling to Ghana to study antenatal/ prenatal care in Ghanaian women and how previous birth experience, as well as diagnosis of complications or anxiety affects their decision to birth at home or in a facility. I, along with my partner Jenny, am organizing a comprehensive survey to administer to the women. This task is difficult due to my limited knowledge about the development of questionnaires. Yet one thing that can be generalized to nearly all surveys especially with a psychological or health focus: this is the presence demographic question sets. These questions help pinpoint our identity in the world at the current moment. We are drilled to know the first questions we will always be asked include: name, date of birth, ethnicity, region of residence…

This idea of generalized and necessary background and demographic information is confusing to me. I am working, and hope to continue to work to end disparities related to health and general quality of life.  The reason disparities themselves exist is due to the differences between people. Socioeconomic status is often associated with location or race, as well as education. Negative health outcomes can be correlated with these socioeconomic factors. In the world of data, we become statistics determined by the groups of which we belong to. We become a number. We identify with groups, and at times we do this to separate the “us” from the “them.” We like to feel involved in a group, or superior to others due to our associations. It is necessary to recognize how we are divided in order to identify how to come together. Perhaps the reason we are separated is due to this need to draw clear, concise lines for our present identities. While categories are wonderful for comparison and attaining knowledge, sometimes I ponder how science and knowledge would change if we ignored some divides, especially racial and ethnic, in order to understand people as a whole. If people are all living in the same city, does it truly matter which ethnicity someone identifies as? I am sure studies exist which will say yes without any doubt, but I am inquisitive as to what we would find about literature and progress in knowledge attainment if this dynamic would change. Is it possible that we could ever truly eliminate the need for racial and ethnic demographics? Is it possible that these items could become obsolete in our world of big data? Will there ever be at time of total racial acceptance to which we disregard this demographic? Is a modern “cosmic race” possible?

Yesterday during our vitals training Andrés, a local medical student from Guatemala who is greatly involved in Humanity First, was giving us various tips and tricks to have the vitals run smoothly throughout our first day at the clinic. He ended with a statement about his “brothers,” or his fellow “Guatemaltecos.” While Andres is privileged and has had access to much education and opportunity, he recognizes a need for the people in his country and local community. Many here without access to health care are indigenous as well as low-income status individuals, yet there was no attitude of contempt that is sometimes present in the United States. Often when I express concern about at risk populations such as the homeless or imprisoned, there is a stigma. People assume laziness, drug abuse, and poor decision-making. This stigma creates yet another division in our humanity. Given the extreme pressure to be independent and successful in our nation, we often expect that those who need help to be below us, and those who can offer help are superior. We condemn people for their given lot in life, and instead of helping right the wrongs, we continue on a high and righteous path where we prefer to “mind our own business” and turn away. I am not attempting to say that the United States is a cold, heartless nation.  I just think the amount of love I see in Guatemala is refreshing and outweighs the emotion and empathy expressed in the United States. While we are a great nation in many aspects, we often forget that it impossible to be the best at everything, and we are nowhere near the best. While American exceptionalism is a conversation I could have for hours, in this case, it is mainly important to know we can truly learn from other nations, just as we strive to educate outside our own boarders.

These bits and pieces were processed in my head, and they left me wondering the continuous and cliché question of people my age: Who am I in such a big world?

I’m a 20 year old, female, college student. I am white with a variety of ethnic backgrounds from Indonesian to Norwegian and German. I grew up in the Midwest to a middle class family. Do these facts define me? Do they make up who I am? In the data set of life, are these are my numbers?

I told someone recently “I don’t see color.” I forget to describe people as black, white, brown, etc. when giving a personal picture to someone else. The idea of race is not something I notice much anymore. Some would say ignoring the history of color and race would make me ignorant. This could be true because acknowledging progress and the continued need for equity is also important. However, I don’t admit to know everything, and I don’t have anywhere close to all the answers. Yet in some way it makes me feel as though I’ve come quite a long way from the small town conservative upbringing I had.

Last night, for a small moment, I was not concerned about my place, my race, my status… I was interested in how the world could come together to diminish these ideas of which tear us apart. We use labels every single day. We use stereotypes as generalizations to process our world, because at the end of it all, they make sense on some level. We judge people’s clothing as a sense of status. We hear someone’s major, and we assume their level of intelligence based on one small fact. Psychology says that we become what we are labeled, and isn’t that a terrifying thought? The things the world tells us we are, the numbers we represent, the demographics that combine to make up our contribution, are our labels. How do we break this chain? How do we step outside the confines of our demographic to represent something so much larger? What can we do today to be larger than just ourselves? These are the streets I twist and turn though, and these are the questions I ask to the world. Perhaps a cosmic race isn’t so crazy after all, or perhaps I am just another radical exploring my own theories.