Ghana Blog 4: How do I say "Goodbye" in Twi?

How do you say “Goodbye” in Twi?

When I was younger I loved going to my grandparents house for sleepovers. Not only did my Oma and Opa (Dutch for grandma and grandma) spoil me with pizza and ice cream, they also let me stay up late and watch adult TV. My Oma is in love with Victorian era décor, and her house has always been elaborately ornamented with antiques and vintage furniture. Sometimes I would ask my Oma talk with me until I fell asleep because I was afraid of her porcelain dolls. One night when I was about six years old, I told her all the details of my fairytale wedding. Today I still remember the specifics I had wanted… a sunset beach wedding at Grand Haven State Park in West Michigan, with floating candles in dug out sand trenches, and giant white lilies. My Oma joked with me because she thought I would be the type to have an international “destination” wedding. When I laughed at her idea, she told me how she thought I would be the one to want to see more of the world. Due to the fact that I hated (and still do) being predictable, I said I was completely content with my life in the United States and traveling didn’t interest me much. Today, I don’t know what kind of wedding I will have and I have stopped planning minute details of my life. Fast-forward fifteen years, and here I am living in Ghana. I guess she was right about one thing…

When I started to like the idea of traveling, I remember the first place I wanted to go was Australia. I have no idea why, but I think middle school me just liked boys with accents. Funny enough, Australia will be the last continent I visit, after already being in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and now Africa. (Sorry, Antarctica you don’t interest me. I have enough snow in Michigan.) It’s amusing how life happens in that way. Sometimes you don’t get exactly what you’d want or planned for, but you always get what you need. I think that’s how I view my time in Ghana.

After being accepted into my program for Ghana, I was offered an internship in India, but later turned it down. I always wondered if it was the right decision, and for this reason I had very high expectations for my time in Ghana. For anyone who knows me well, I have chronically high expectations, even when I try to lower them. Being a perfectionist and slight control- freak, I attempt to plan and organize my life in order to avoid unforeseen complications. I usually like to think if I throw my all into anything, it’ll work out. I’ve learned that sometimes the universe doesn’t work that way. Sure, Ghana was a whirlwind at first. Even today, nine weeks later, I find myself struggling with bits of culture shock. Yet as my time is dwindling, I’m starting to realize perhaps there was a true reason for my time in Ghana after all.

When I came home from Spain last summer, I felt like a different person. I thought that Spain and traveling the world was what made me happier after my bout of depression just a few months before. I hadn’t missed home. I hadn’t missed school. I had absolutely no desire to return from my pseudo- reality of limited responsibility and seemingly endless amounts of museum tours. I am grateful for the time I spent there, the friendships I made, and the things I learned. In fact, without that summer away, I am not sure I would have ever fully found my way out of the darkness and lethargy that had held me down. However, my summer in Ghana has me feeling a bit differently. I love Ghana, truly. I think the people here are amazing, and I appreciate their values and philosophies on life. Yet, I miss home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the small conveniences I take for granted everyday. So here, I am, a year and four continents later, coming full circle in my travel experiences. One day I had never wanted to return home, and today I am counting down the days. Previously I had thought of traveling as an escape from my real life, but now I realize no amount of inspiration, relaxation, or enlightenment can truly transport me out of my identity, the problems I may face, and the joys that are sure to come. Instead of viewing my travel as a time to click “pause” on my life, I’m starting to view it as a time to step out of the bubble of which I normally live and stare into the mirror – reflecting on what my life has given me and what I want to accomplish next.

I do not believe in coincidences, and I never have. I think each person we meet and place we go is an integral cog into the development of our life story. As my time in Ghana is starting to run out, I am beginning to comprehend just how much living in Ghana has changed me already. Perhaps I wont know just how fully I have been affected by my travel until I return. However, I know with each place I have traveled before, I have never left unaltered.

Baby Fever

         

            A few weeks into data collection, I already felt my life had turned into a mundane routine of events. Between the two-hour transport to and from work on the public Tro- Tros, to collecting and importing data, I was bored. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when one child seemed to bring things into a new light for me.

            Some of you may have seen my post on Facebook about the adorable little two-year-old girl I met at the GAEC clinic. I try not to post pictures like this because I don’t want to promote certain stereotypes about developing nations, and I hate to feed into the idea of “voluntourism.” However, I couldn’t resist sharing this interaction.

            My research partner, Jenny, and I had been following our usual routine at the clinic. We were waiting to have a nurse translate the directions to the women in Twi, the local language. While we waited, we chatted and prepared our surveys for distribution. Unexpectedly, I felt two little hands wrap around my legs. I looked down to see the most adorable child staring up at me with big brown eyes. The little toddler held onto my legs for a while, and eventually she was dancing around, holding onto the tips of my fingers. We played “patty cake,” and she grinned at me with the most innocent and content of smiles.

            At work I usually interact with pregnant mothers, and their children normally are not present. I was surprised to see a child at the clinic, nonetheless one so friendly as to come right up to me. Many children gawk at me because they know I’m foreign based on my skin color and the way I dress. They are always curious, but still hesitant with me. I am also hesitant with children in general. As I’ve written in previous posts, I haven’t always been the most maternal or nurturing. I was the type of girl who made the happiest of infants cry. Just in the last few years, I’ve started to become more comfortable around kids.

            Lately, I’ve been thinking so much about motherhood. Jenny and I joke that we have caught “baby fever.” Can you blame us though? We interview pregnant moms every single day for hours about their experiences. I try to think it’s normal that children are on my mind. By no means am I saying I am ready for kids, because I have a hell of a lot of growing up to do before I can take care of a child. I can barely take care of myself. This day at the clinic reminded me that I could do it though. One day I could be a mom. It reminded me that I want to be a mom. Sometimes I feel that society has only two options. Depending on where you are in the US, people either shove the idea of motherhood and having children early down your throat or, in my experience, if you want a family it better be put on hold because career comes first. I know so many women who want to have both, myself being one of them. While living in Ann Arbor, I often become sucked into the idea that having a family will get into the way of my “success” in life. As if success is only determined by the job I will have, where I graduated from, or my salary. I forget that lifetime satisfaction and success can be determined by whatever I choose to determine it by. To me, having a “successful” life includes being a mother, and Ghana has reminded me of this.

            Talking with these mothers everyday has given me a new inspiration as well as a renewed and profound respect for women. The survey we distribute is pretty straight forward, but women who take the survey interview style often give more details and tell their stories in narrative fashion. I love talking to them about their children, their families, and the sacrifices they’ve made. Meanwhile, I have missed my own mom like crazy and meeting these women has given me a new appreciation for all she has done and still does for me. The love a mother has for her child is something I have grown to appreciate and long to have one day while living here. I feel so fortunate for the opportunity to have personal conversations with our participants and to be able to learn from them not only on a scholastic level but also on a personal one.

Don’t Hike in A Dress

            It has been quite a long time since I’ve written a blog including any of the physical activities I have done in Ghana. I realize now I need to catch up!

            A few weeks ago, the MHIRT students from UMich and Brown visited Wli Falls and a Monkey Sanctuary in the Volta Region of Ghana. This was our first trip we had planned while being here, and nothing makes you feel more accomplished living in a foreign country than finally figuring out how to get from Point A to Point B (especially when they’re hours apart).

            After driving for about five hours, we arrived at the Monkey Sanctuary in Hohoe. A small building sat on the side of a dirt road, in what seemed to be the middle of a small village outside of the rainforest. We purchased our passes, and we were led down a small path into the forest. Before even taking a few steps into the trees, we could see the monkeys hoping and swinging from branch to branch. While I cannot tell you the exact type of monkey we saw, they were each about the size of a small cat. They reminded me of spider monkeys that we see in zoos in the United States (kind of sad I’m comparing them to zoo animals, I know). The monkeys gathered around and one by one, they would jump onto our arms and eat the bananas out of our hands. According to the guide, the monkeys wouldn’t eat bananas without the peel because in previous history they’d been poisoned. Up until now, I haven’t ever been a huge fan of monkeys. Actually, I’m not a super big animal lover in general. After “meeting” them first hand, I think I may have found a second favorite animal, after Pandas of course.

            Our next stop was Wli falls. Our driver got us lost on the way, and Google maps doesn’t seem to work in Ghana, but with some help from locals and a good amount of determination, we finally made it. I didn’t think very far ahead, and I was wearing a dress and converse for the day. I thought a dress would be light and airy for the hot, humid Ghanaian weather. However, nobody told me I’d have to hike 45 minutes to get to a waterfall. In hindsight, I should have known I would have had to walk for quite some time. So there I was, wearing my little black dress, hiking up a mountain in the Ghanaian rainforest – not embarrassing at all. Everything turned out fine, and with the blessing of bug spray, I came out unharmed.

            The waterfall itself was incredible. I haven’t seen many “natural wonders” before. My family and I did a trip out west when I was young, but I don’t remember much of it. Seeing this waterfall alone was amazing, but we also were able to get in the water below it and “swim” around. I’m not usually one for swimming because water makes me a bit scared (I’m terrified of drowning), but it was 100% worth it. I have officially decided I want to attempt to be more “outdoorsy,” because I usually get my outdoor exposure sipping wine on a patio. I think it’ll be good for me to do some more exploratory hiking or camping trips (I can hear some of you laughing at me).

We aren’t at the farmer’s market anymore

            While five students of our MHIRT cohort from Michigan were living in Accra, two other students were also living in Kumasi for the majority of the summer. Kumasi is the second largest city in Ghana, about five hours away via public transport. However, transportation usually takes longer here because so many roads have potholes due to the rainy seasons or are bumpy dirt roads. Because of this, the speed is usually no more than 50mph for longer trips, and no more than 20-30 mph into the city or areas around Accra.

            I was excited to go to Kumasi mostly because it is known for having the largest outdoor market in all of West Africa. I thought the markets would be manageable to navigate, but who was I kidding? It took me weeks to learn how to navigate Accra, and I was not prepared for the depth of this market. I wish I could have taken more pictures, but I had to guard my bag at all times due to the high rates of pickpocketing. Even if I had wanted to take pictures, the traffic flow of humans bumping into each other from every direction was insane. It was nearly impossible to stop at a stand to look at fruits or fabrics without getting trampled on by incoming streams of people. This market is not a place for people who are afraid of germs or like personal space. While I thought the market was quite an experience, I am not sure if I could ever go back and buy something there, especially the way the locals do. Not only would I be up charged a crazy amount for being an Obroni (foreigner), I wouldn’t know how to find my way out. My friends and I only managed to slither between the roads and aisles with the help of a Ghanaian friend.

            It was funny to reflect on the growing popularity of farmer’s markets in the United States. People go to small markets to get organic goods or trinkets and to walk around in the open, fresh air. Markets, to me at least, are relatively calm and enjoyable to take a stroll through. However, markets in Ghana appear to be the norm for attaining all daily household items. Markets are where the locals go to get fruits and vegetables for lower costs, as well as raw meat and fish. There’s clothing stores and places to buy various technologies. Everything is bartered for, of course, and no two items are the same.

            Our next stop in Kumasi was the palace for the Ashanti King, which only recently was turned into a museum. While we learned many facts and figures about the Ashanti people, what I found most interesting was the maternal side, or the Queen Mother, dictated the lineage between kings. Each king was to be selected by the Queen Mother, who didn’t have to be married to the King. Usually she is the mom, grandmother, or aunt of the King. While the king has the majority of power and wealth, the mother plays an integral role in the selection of the ruler and has some impact on the community’s decisions. The Ashanti people are also known for their gold, and the “Golden Stool” of which there was a war over between the British and the Ashanti people. In this region, whoever owned the golden stool, held the power. Today, the king still has the golden stool and he presides over the Ashanti people in a region in Kumasi. The best part of our tour however was when a tour guide pointed out a replica of a former king and said, “This king was a Christian so he only had eight wives,” as if that was some small amount compared to non Christian kings. We all had a good laugh.

Ed Sheeran was where?

Before reading the following section please listen to “Light it Up” by Major Lazer (feat. Nyla and Fuse ODG):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDcFryDXQ7U

            Upon arrival in Ghana, I made a good friend named Nathan. We spontaneously met at Shisha Lounge, a local bar. Two weeks ago, he had a “barbeque,” for Republic Day in Ghana, however I’ve learned that term barbeque actually meant Ciroc, champagne, and chicken kebab (very different than what I was expecting). While my friends and I lounged at his family’s condo, people came and went. I met all sorts of individuals who I now term to be “Ghana’s Elite.” This title might not be totally correct, however the details of my weekend will explain why I call them this.

There were people from the oil industry, the construction industry, and some Moet champagne distributors. I didn’t know it at the time, but I even met some famous Nigerian rappers, particularly a man called Pay Day, who is half of the duo R2Bees, and Kill Beatz, an international music producer. At one point in the night, a new friend of mine had asked me to “hold” his 1inch thick stack of 100 USD bills… I had come into the party I’d be relaxing on a patio drinking a Club Beer (local brand beer), and I came out of the night sitting at Ghana’s most high end clubs, sipping D’ussé and Patron in my private booth. Talk about a twist of events.

            While my spontaneous night out with some of Ghana’s wealthiest individuals was both unexpected and incredibly fun, I was not anticipating seeing many of them anytime soon. However, the next day my friends and I were invited to another “barbeque.” We left our small, concrete floored dorms, grabbed some take out, and headed for the gathering. Thinking it would be more casual after the day before had been extravagant, we were again less prepared. Our friend puled up to pick us up in his new black Range Rover and drove us to a gated mansion inside Airport City, one of Accra’s most expensive locations. As we got out of the car, we attempted to make ourselves at home. We lounged by the pool, which said “ODG” on the bottom in tile flooring. After asking who ODG was, I realized we were at Fuse ODG’s house, although he wasn’t there. To be honest, I had never herd of Fuse before and wasn’t impressed until I researched him online later. Fuse is a Ghanaian rapper, based out of the UK, where he is most famously known. The most popular American song I could find by him is the one attached at the top of this section in collaboration with Major Lazer. After talking with more Ghanaians about Fuse and the other rappers and producers we had met the night before, I finally realized I was hanging with a crowd I had never anticipated.

Apparently Ed Sheeran was also at this same mansion just a few weeks before. He had been collaborating with Fuse on something for a  future single or ablum, according to his friends. It’s hard to imagine Ed Sheeran making a song with some Afro- beats considering his most recent hit “Thinking out Loud” reminds me of an emotional, male version of an Adele song. Hey, you never know, and if it happens to become popular, you heard it here first.

We hung out at his mansion with some of the “elite” from the night before, listened to them play different beats and watching the Euro Cup on TV. We stayed for a while lounging and chatting, as the men smoked, drank, and goofed off. I felt totally out of place for a bit-- my white, mid western self, dressed in a floral maxi dress from Francesca’s. However, after some time I became to feel comfortable and again, the Ghanaians surprised me with how welcoming and kind they are. It truly was a crazy experience to be a fly on the wall of a totally different lifestyle. I made some new friends out of the experience as well, which has been beneficial and continuously entertaining. I could write novels about this particular weekend, which I usually refer to as “that one whirlwind weekend,” but for now I’ll leave the rest up to imagination.

My Queen

            One of my absolute favorite colloquial sayings in Ghana is when men call their wives or girlfriends “Queen” or “My Queen.” It sounds so regal, or like something that John Legend would sing to his wife in a song. Although I have yet to be referred to as someone’s Queen (what are the odds I can get my boyfriend to call me this?), I truly felt like royalty this past weekend when my friends and I went to Axim.

            I had originally heard of the Village on Stilts as a sort of “Venice of Ghana” which made me very excited to check the location out. However, after doing some research, the village was actually just a village for local people and a somewhat popular one day tourist destination. Slightly bummed that I couldn’t “live on stilts” for a weekend, my friends and I stumbled upon Lou Moon Resort just an hour outside Takoradi, which in total is about six hours outside of Accra. Although I had to stop at some less than hygienic rest stops, the travel time was worth the destination. I can easily say I have never been more relaxed in my life. Lou Moon resort was easily the most romantic, secluded place I had ever been. Imagine a private island bungalow, waking up to the sound of ocean waves, and sitting on a secluded bayside beach drinking an ice cold bottled coke, listening to your favorite music. This was my idea of paradise.

            For anyone who is reading as a Ghanaian or an expat, I would highly recommend staying at Lou Moon for a week, or even a long weekend. The prices are a bit steep for couples, but my friends and I stayed (5 total) for two nights, and the rooms plus food and my massage only cost me around $280 USD. There’s a variety of activities, from kayaking, to a volleyball court, massages, hiking, etc. The resort also can arrange a private driver to take you to outside places, and our group had arranged to see the Village on Stilts for one of the days, which I also recommend if you have the time. The resort was incredibly clean and I received the best customer service I have ever experienced thus far in Ghana. The chef also creates a new, fresh ingredient menu everyday. Each selection I had was out of this world, especially the chocolate mousse.

            I never wanted to leave my little slice of paradise. I can always lay in the sun for hours and horus and I never get bored. My friends in the US usually hate going to the beach with me for this reason. My stay at Lou Moon was the least stressed I think I’ve been since starting college, which may sound dramatic but I can’t remember the last time I laid in the sun for hours without cellular phone service and without any sort of worries. It was just what I needed.  I also think the pictures can speak for themselves.

“There’s starving kids in Africa who’d eat that food.”

Do you remember when you were in elementary school and your mom would pack you lunch, and there were always days you didn’t like the food she chose? Or how the cafeteria provided “food” which could be mistaken for rubber (cue the term “Rubberoni”)? When I was young, my friends and I would all sit around and eat our cookies, cheddar pringles, and our PB & J sandwiches, but I was always the pickiest of eaters. Sometimes I would poke at my food with disgust, not eating anything. Then there was that one kid, the one with the snarky attitude who would say “There’s starving kids in Africa who’d eat that food.” After living in Ghana, I will never (or let any child) say that again, and here’s why…

Sure, there are plenty of “starving kids in Africa.” There are many starving people in Africa, nonetheless the entire World. People, myself included, love to point fingers at other places in the world and showcase their problems, such as starvation and overarching poverty. Have we ever really considered how many starving people there are in our own country, the United States? How do we define starvation? What about nutrient deficient, couldn’t we say that our bodies are starving for nutrients? Obviously there’s a different between having no food to eat and having poor decision making skills, but honestly who are we to use Africa as some sort of guilt trip to indulge in our gluttony… an excuse to lick our plates clean… a tactic for growing children to just take “one more bite of their broccoli”… this is where ignorant ideas are born.

Secondly, Africa is not a country. I have noticed many times how many of my friends and family have this idea of what I am experiencing based on their ideas about Africa as a whole. Instead of saying, “Hey! How’s Ghana?” I receive texts that ask “How’s Africa?” Do people studying abroad in Italy receive texts asking about their all-encompassing experience in Europe? Probably not to the same extent. Africa is 30 million km². Can you imagine if someone were planning on visiting the state of Wyoming, but thought all of the United States was like New York City stereotypes? Talk about a rude awakening. Nonetheless, if someone knew things about Mexico and decided to go to Canada thinking that all of North/ Central America is the same? What is disappointing is how most people wouldn’t fall into that trap while thinking about the Americas anyways because everyone knows something about the United States. I don’t mean this in a way that makes me sound like an “ugly American.” What I mean to say is in every country I’ve visited, American news is on their TVS, listened to on the radio, and published on websites and newspapers. Even today, as I was taking a Tro- Tro to work, news from the US about the recent shootings and police brutality played on the radio, rather than local news. People often try to converse with me about American politics from parties and elections, to the recently popular choice of Donald Trump (help).  Yet in the United States, how much do you see about African politics, struggles, and successes? How much do you see about the Middle East or Asia? Unless Korea is supposedly building more bombs, or there’s another ISIS, we don’t hear about much. We hear about the destruction in our world, but do we really know about the daily interworking of anywhere else besides our own nation? Most people don’t even follow current events in their local communities, nonetheless the United States as a whole. I can’t point fingers because I am not the best at keeping up with the news either, yet I firmly believe as Americans, we fall into the trap of wrapping our minds into our own little worlds, knowing the world actually will revolve around us. By stating that there are “starving kids in Africa,” this description is spread across 54 distinct nations with their own cultures, ideologies, and political systems. There’s danger in mass generalization.

Lastly, what about the “Africa they never show you?” I’ve started using this phrase quite a bit while living in Ghana (shout out to Benita for coining it). If any of you have been reading my posts or seeing a few of the pictures I have shared, you’ll notice there is so much more to Ghana than what people generally think about Africa. Ghana has shown me some of the most incredible restaurants, resorts and hotels that I’ve ever visited, on an American luxury standard. Ghana has allowed me to meet some of the greatest kind hearted, accepting, and helpful people, and without them I would easily have drowned in culture shock or been hit by a Taxi. I have tasted real fruit, not genetically modified – bananas with bruises, white pineapple not colored an urgent shade of yellow, and oranges that are actually green. Ghana has taught me about history and about culture -- about how race here is defined by your ancestral tribe and not necessarily the color of your skin. Ghana has allowed me to experience a lifestyle without the hustle bustle of American life, one without the need to put all of my energy into making money. It has showed me a society that values motherhood – where women can breastfeed their children publicly. I can go to sleep at night wanting to have children, a family, and a loyal husband without feeling embarrassed or ashamed the way I often do in Ann Arbor, or in The States in general. I can talk openly about morality and my beliefs. I can ask people directly about religion. Sure, Ghana has its problems… corrupt government, various health infrastructure challenges, a lack of clean running water, but there are so many things that Africa is not. Africa is not solely my description of Ghana. Africa is not all thin children dressed in tattered clothing with sad eyes on the streets that we see in UNICEF commercials. It is not the wandering exotic safari Animals. Africa is not malaria. Africa is not typhoid. Africa is not yellow fever. Africa is not dirt roads and homeless people struggling. Africa’s struggles are not a product of laziness but rather of exploitation. Africa is not the “caution to all travelers” bolded sentence on the CDC website.  You may wonder what I would say Africa is then, if I’m the self proclaimed ruler on what it is not. However, I cannot define Africa, I cannot define Ghana, and I cannot even define the United States. I refused to limit our ideologies of nations and continents and groups of people by labels and commonalities. Living here has opened my eyes to so many of my own previous mental limitations and my ignorance of which I am so grateful. My life here has made me think deeply about who I am as a person, who I have been and who I want to be. It has made me question all of the views I had about myself and the world around me. I hope some things I have written in my blogs have made someone else think too, whether it’s back home in the US or here in Ghana.

How do I say “Goodbye” in Twi?

            While I’ve traveled quite a few places, Ghana is the first place I feel I have made many lasting connections with not only other students, but also local people. This will be the hardest part of my last two weeks – learning how to say goodbye to everyone I have met here. My dad always says, “It’s never goodbye, just see you later.” I like to think this is true, and perhaps one day my life will bring me back to Ghana. If it does, I’ll be happy to rekindle the friendships I have made, but until then I am soaking up the last part of little life here. My heart already feels a little sad thinking about boarding the plane, but I am excited to return home knowing I have learned something and hopefully left my mark on the hearts of those I have met as well.